Bare Bottoms Aplenty -True Blood Episode 3

Oh it’s all going on in Bon Temps. Tara’s in the freezer at Merlotte’s, Bill and Eric have harnesses on and Roman is still using those big words. Yes it’s another fantastic episode of True Blood – enough to get you naked and howling at the moon!

Andy Bellefleur’s ass in on Facebook! That body part is getting quite an outing this season. I’m beginning to wonder if it could be the new supernatural being. On the more romantic side Bon Temps’ sheriff decides to give love a go with Holly – a witch with delinquent kids who lives in a hotel. Well what can a recovering alcaholic/V addict do?

From Andy’s bottom to yes, Jason’s which is on display AGAIN. This time we get a brief history lesson as we learn that Mr Stackhouse got jiggy with his teacher when he was young and when he meets her again in this episode it does not take long for the two of them to begin rolling around on her carpet. Post rumpy pumpy Jason is not his usual lustful self and runs off home even pushing away Jessica’s advances – “I ain’t some mechanised bull.” he insists. No, but you sure are one of the most popular rides in the fairground Jason. Aaah give him a glass of warm milk and a cookie.

Not afraid of a little hanky panky is vampire seductress extraordinaire Salome. She’s quite a busy girl in this episode. “Your rise is quite impressive,” she declares to Bill before pouncing on him. My, my! Having dealt with Bill’s rise she then moves on to Eric. At this point you’d think she’d deserve a little nap but Salome’s bed is not for sleeping in and when Roman walks into her boudoir and reveals his ridiculously buffed chest we know they’re not going to be playing Monopoly. But then how can she resist – Roman is the kind of guy who uses words like ‘exacerbate’ – no monosyllabic mutterings for him.

Tara may have started off the episode chilling in Sam’s freezer but by the end she’s on the sunbed trying to grill herself out of existence. Is this the end for this feisty lady?  If you want to know if Tara toast will be on the menu in Merlotte’s then you’ll have to tune in next week.